Love Letters to Me, Three

Hey me,

It’s okay. I don’t really think he was cheating on you. He broke up with you because honestly, you just kept making up a lot of problems. And he was making problems by not wanting to solve anything, he just wanted to do nothing to fix it. That is why you two broke up. Not because there was anyone else, not because of some other girl. So calm down, you knew he only loved you. And you know he only loves you.

So once you calm your ass down, you all can sit down and talk shit out. Nothing’s going to work if you sit here and just think up problems. Leave him alone, let him be. He will still be there in a week. Leave him alone, he’s not fooling around. For the last week leading up to the breakup, he was trying to keep you calm by talking everything out with you. He did want to be with you, but you keep making things up. You did not understand that he wanted his own “space” at work. You didn’t want to understand him with whatever he was saying last week. Give him a rest for now. When you’re calm and relaxed and he’s not stressed or mad, you two can talk. Let time ease and sort everything out. It’s going to work out just fine.

Love,

The old you

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Love Letters to me, Two

Dear me,

Right now you, in the back of your mind, believe to some extent, that he is your world. Even though you have discovered he lied to you for months, you still believe him to be amazing. And admittedly, you’re crazy about him. Because in your mind, he’s still somehow beautiful.

But you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve the lies. All that time talking to them could have been time spent talking to you. But it’s over now.

So just take this time to breathe and be. I know you’re discontent and distraught and discomforted right now. I know. But this is just a phase. Understand that. This is only a brief moment in your life. And your young, so this moment will soon feel like the briefest of brief because you’ll move on.

I know you already feel like the future won’t hold adventure without him. He was your idea of adventure. But silly girl, you don’t even know adventure yet. One day you’ll have great escapades and experiences. And you won’t even think about him. Because you’ll be too busy doing great things. Things that you wouldn’t have done if you had held on to him. Unimaginably great, unexpected things.

It’s not going to be alright. It’s going to be amazing. I promise.

Love,

The old you

Love Letters to Me

Dear me,

I know you’re lost and confused. And that sadness is becoming heavy in your throat. And you just keep running your mouth on this blog because the words can pour out. But it’ll get better. I promise. You remember all your other sad times when you were younger. Those tears became laughs. You look back and smile at all that.

So don’t let this get you down. Other mountains, mountains with more than amazing views, will be climbed.This was just your first. And even though it feels stupid now, climbing down that mountain alone, you regret nothing.You loved and you were loved. But it didn’t work out. Because you were untrusting of him and he wasn’t trustworthy. So what’s there to go back for? Nothing.

And you can have friendship if you want. But maybe not right now. Can you really accept all those lies? No, they hurt you. He didn’t respect how you felt.

So right now, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. Because even though he was a liar, for a while there, he was your everything. And for a while there, he was amazing and even that sounds like an understatement.

It’s going to be alright now. Just keep going and eventually, you’ll run into someone incredible that’s everything and nothing like him. And you’ll feel so much better.

For now though, one step at a time.

Love,

The old you