To be honest, I feel exhausted. Part of it has to do with him, the other part has to do with feeling slightly overwhelmed at school. And to be real, I was already exhausted last week. That was why I asked him last week to go out this Monday, because honestly, I just wanted a break. And I thought he could give that to me. And he couldn’t.
And so I decided to take a break anyways. And that’s nice too.
My eyes sting a little but though from having a bad sleep on Sunday night and waking up early and from yesterday night, where I just laid in bed and cried while writing him a hypothetical letter.
I deactivated my Facebook, the one I use just to talk to him. I couldn’t really stand looking up people, like F, who he searched for yesterday afternoon, the girl he took to winter ball of senior year. That was three years ago and look at me, still jealous. And I think she’s pretty and that she’s fairly smart and competent. I’m not gonna lie though, I know I’m smarter and yeah, I know I’m pretty. I’m just jealous that he even bothered looking her up.
And there was her cover picture taken on like April 4th, and that has nothing to do with him. LOL, stop trying to make false connections. He looked her up yesterday the 11th, he picture has nothing to do with him. If anything, he saw her at a party or maybe the mall, or chances are, he didn’t see her at all, and just thought about her for a second and decided to look her up. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. He probably just looked her up I shouldn’t take these things to heart. besides, he didn’t even friend request her.
And I need to stop looking through his stuff. So that’s it. Okay that was the last time. Hey, I even deactivated my account. And now, that was the last time I log on to his.
Today I’m gonna catch up on homework and study. I just want to forget about him for awhile.