Day One: So Far…

To be honest, I kinda have a headache right now because I am thinking too hard about nonsense. Also, I had this sugary desert a few hours ago and I think its going to my head.

So I told my friends about how me and him saw each other a month ago and how all this stuff went on. And one of my friends K, I told her two weeks ago, and I finally saw my other friend D and told her about it.

K said she was butt hurt about me telling her now. And D, well, I’m pretty sure she’s kinda mad at me.

Admittedly, I kinda think they’re both mad at me for not telling them. But at thee time, I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. And you know, I apologized, I think, while sitting down, that I had not told them, but to be honest, I didn’t want tot ell anyone for awhile. I had thought about it, but then I kinda wanted to keep it inside because I didn’t know where I’m and I were going.

And I kinda feel really unsocial and insecure right now. I mean, after I talked about him,, I didn’t really want to listen to my friend K talk about her date or about concerts of bands I don’t listen to. And I didn’t want to talk to D about other things. And I didn’t really feel too interested talking about my classes.

I feel kinda bad that they’re mad at me, but if they’re real friends, they’ll get over it.

Anyways, they don’t think I should talk to him. And I cant say I completely disagree. I already decided I wasn’t going to speak to him for two months. (LOL, I wrote ‘weeks’ at first, instead of ‘months’).

And to be real, I already miss him. Nevermind I saw that he looked up some random girl on his facebook yesterday that I didn’t know. And nevermind An and snapchat. And nevermind the entire story with S. And nevermind all of it. I just miss him.

And in this moment in time, I don’t feel mad at him. I just feel a little lonely. And its not that I don’t have friends to talk to because I do. I just spent 2 hours talking to them, running my mouth for almost an hour about the last two days. And now I’m sitting here beside myself, and fuck you know. I just miss him. i feel really lonely for him. And I don’t feel mad at all.

And I miss him. And I feel a little exhausted running my mouth about him. And I’m tired of hearing people’s opinions about what I should do.

Because honestly, at this point, I kinda just want to cuddle with him and forget everything. I wouldn’t mind that at all. But I guess I’ll just keep that to myself.

And I guess eventually we’ll talk again, but right now, I know I should just leave it alone and wait for this wave of madness to pass.

 

 

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