Too Many Things to Learn

Tonight I am looking at this research database that my new school has. And I looking at all the topics in the science section and I’m not gonna lie, it’s very interesting.

And it’s like I’m going to major in Economics and Applied Mathematics, but I’m looking at all this science stuff. And it’s like, what am I doing with my life? Like I completely like what I’m going to study in my majors, like I really love it. But now I’m looking at this research stuff for the sciences because I’m pre-dental and I think it would look really good on my applications. Plus, I’m very curious and it looks very interesting.

Anyways, I’m very excited about everything. I’m trying to figure out still what I want to focus all my time on. Just the other day, when I was painting my nails I noticed the program to become an OMFS. And I was, like, wow. I mean, I saw it before, but now, it was like, I could do that. I would just be in school forever though. Okay, not forever. But like, 10 years or so.

After finishing my bachelor’s and then completing my dental pre-reqs, I would go to dental school and acquire an MBA. Then I would go through the OMFS program and if I wanted I could combine it with their PhD program. And it would be so damn cool. I would have all the degrees, including a DDS and an MD.

Well, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to focus on. If I wanted, I could always fall back on my econ and applied math degrees.

Right now, I want to do so much and that semester hasn’t even started. No lie, I feel slightly overwhelmed already. There is so much I want to learn. And to be honest, it’s not even to outdo anyone. Like I know that girl S is doing research as an assistant, but that’s not what I’m trying to do. I’ve been thinking about how I would probably have to do research since the middle of this August. I’ve been thinking about that. I want my applications to stand out. Not only because I’m not a science major, but also because I had an interest in the sciences and helping people. I want my future applications to show that.

So no, I don’t want to learn all these things to impress anyone or to do outdo anyone. I just really want to learn so many things. It’s crazy. I want to learn so many subjects and volunteer and do internships and I want to be in love. And I want my boyfriend back.

What if I’m like Dr. Juvenal Urbino in Love in the Time of Cholera? Like I’m just someone who keeps busy just so they won’t have to think.  I hope not.

I won’t lie. With everything I want to do, my thoughts feel messy and chaotic. When I was with him, I felt a little hectic and crazy. Things just made more sense to me, like my plans just seemed to more aligned. But maybe that’s just me.

It’s not that I’m confused, I just have a lot of ideas and plans.



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