So let me take this moment to make fun of myself. There are a number of reasons:
This morning I was very bothered that he friended his friend Z on Facebook. I was bothered that he friended the girl I already knew was his friend. Yeah, that was kinda weird for me to be all mad and bothered about.
I am also bothered that we haven’t had a real conversation in over a month. And I guess that’s my fault. We’re supposed to be giving each other space and I contact him at least once a week. So hey, maybe we would’ve been talking by now, but honestly, I know I keep bothering him.
I wanted to donate blood today because I wanted to. And I think it’s been one of things I’ve wanted to do. And I also slightly felt like maybe I would run into him also donating his blood. And so I was going to donate blood but I felt like I was going to be underweight. To be honest, I was going to donate blood without even checking my weight because I kinda did want to run into him. But my senses got the better of me and I made the smarter choice of getting myself weighed this morning and I was underweight for donating blood.
Well, anyways, after feeling all bothered about this morning with his Facebook, this afternoon I was thinking about him and I googled how to get your ex to talk to you again, which lead me to this site :getyourexbackpermanently.com. And reading the article actually made me feel better.
Reading this article made me feel like I was 13 again and reading a chapter in this book I got from the library about the different stages of a breakup. And reading this article also brought me back to, I guess, another time where we broke up and I was reading articles like “How to Get Your Ex Back”. If I’m not mistaken, it was from the same website as this one. Anyways, the point is, there is no point. Him and I have broken up before. One time I broke up with him for like two months or was it three and I kept telling him I didn’t want tog et back together and we would see each other still and he would say he loved me. But now it’s his turn of dragging out a breakup (again) (like we’ve broken up and made up so many times with each other; it’s exhausting) and who knows how this pans out.
Back to the article I read today:
Maybe we’re in the middle of Reason 1 and Reason 2, the one where I keep smothering him and the one where we have the no contact rule. And honestly I doubt there’s another girl, so yes, we fall between Reason 1 and Reason 2. And after reading it, I just felt a lot better about us. Because the more I actually put it isn’t perspective, it wont be forever until we talk again. And I know once we have our time apart, we’ll feel a lot better about ourselves and each other.
And I know missing him is a bitch and watching him go back to being friends with people I didn’t want him to makes me mad, but I need to let go a little. This is a phase. And I know one day we’ll get back together, but right now we’re in the no contact period. And part of that reason was because I kept calling and texting and messaging and just bothering him. And this no contact period is no surprise, we talked about this a month ago when he told me we should get space from each other. And of course, I kept contacting him still at least once a week. But of course I need to stop. The no contact period only works if we both stop talking and we both give each other space, which means I got to stop talking too.
So I feel a little like laughing and poking fun at myself for going through such extents as to googling myself out of my situation, thinking that google solves my problems. And maybe it kinda did. And it did make me feel a lot better.