So I was having a really good day today. Minus the part where I thought I overheard my classmate talking about me ( I thought it was him, but this guy was wearing a hat). It’s not that my classmate was saying anything bad, he was just repeating part of our conversation today and how maybe, I thought the song at first sounded like Spanish, but it was actually French. Anyways, I thought that was his voice from the top of the stairwell, but once I got to the top it was too late to judge if it was him.
Also, there was this meeting today. and ne guy texted that he and someone else wasn’t going to be there. So I was really unsure what he meant. When I got home I finally figured t out, but right before the actual meeting I felt kinda confused. M said it didn’t matter what S texted because M.B. showed up. It turns out S was texting about someone else entirely.
So I was having a fine time being alone, trying to draw, when a friend of a friend came and asked what I was doing. To be honest, I guess I didn’t realize how good it felt to be alone until someone I didn’t really know tried to stop by for conversation. And I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with him there when I realized I really liked being by myself. Thankfully, my friend was walking by with his girlfriend and it broke up the entire conversation. (On another completely different note, this friend and I were supposed to go on a walk today, but then he said he was going to study. So I said it was fine because really, it was fine. And I was going to meet him in the courtyard today to just spend my break time with him but when I tried to find him I couldn’t. So I took a little walk and then I tried to find him again. Anyways, I guess he had plans with his girlfriend. He should’ve just said that. Anyways, no hard feelings.) So my friend, his girlfriend, and his friend all talked about how I was just sitting there drawing, trying to be myself, when everyone just showed up. I hope sound too annoyed, but I realized I did just wanted to be myself.
I looked for him today. Even looked into the fall schedule to figure out his room number and it turns out I was walking into the wrong building this entire time. While trying to “run” into him by accident on purpose, I ran into my F. And I was telling, hopefully not suspiciously, that I was just taking a walk before class. Then I went on my way. But I didn’t run into him. I was only able to run into his friend walking to class. And because he wasn’t with his friend, it may me wonder where he was. Like, I haven’t seen him in about two weeks. Does he still go to school? Am I overreacting? Maybe. Wow, I just really miss him. And I’m not looking especially hard for him or anything, but I’m kinda wondering what happened to him. Maybe I need to look harder.
When I couldn’t find my friend, I went and looked for him instead. And I couldn’t find him. So that’s how I found myself trying to find a bench to practice my drawing.
Anyways, overall, really good day. It just was. I was in a great mood. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I’m pmsing and my feelings are all over the place, but I just had a really good day.
Let me take that a step. I was having a really good day today until I just saw his tumblr. Ad he reposted this thing that says “When y’all really like each other, but can’t make it work for shit”. It probably doesn’t matter because well, because the things seems to be reposted thousands of times. And it doesn’t matter that A also reposted this earlier this month, like the first week of October because that was awhile ago. Besides, he reposted from this random guy’s tumblr, not A’s tumblr. Anyways, maybe I overreact. Maybe he thinks of me when he reads that post he reposted. Or maybe he thinks about someone else. But no, I tell myself. No, he doesn’t he doesn’t think of some other girl. Fuck, you know. All I think about is him. I just, you know, I hate that. I hate not knowing if he thinks of me when he saw that or if he thought about someone else. I hope he thought about me. I hope he did. In all honesty, it’s driving me a little crazy. I even messaged him on facebook. Messages I don’t even think he reads because maybe he blocked them, but then how am I still able to send them then? Anyways, it’s driving me a little crazy. But maybe I shouldn’t care. Because that means they can’t make it work for shit. So ha! Or maybe he was just referring to us? Or maybe he just thought it was funny. Who cares. Leave it alone.
It doesn’t matter girl. It doesn’t matter. no need to get upset about that. It doesn’t matter.
I was having a good day.