I thought about messaging him tonight, then decided I don’t think I should. After spending most of the evening happy and mad with him, I think it would be best if I just kept my distance. I felt like I was a little mean last night, but honestly, it really doesn’t matter. The truth is he keeps fucking up, I don’t need to apologize for shit.

I wonder if one of his favorite teachers had seen outside his classroom window that day about a month ago, us arguing, me pulling him to talk, him pushing me against the wall. Me, in tears, yelling at him and finally getting him to follow me, or at least walk in the direction towards me. I wonder if the teacher saw any of that, to be honest, I don’t remember what happened that much during that fight. Maybe he pulled me in for a hug and kissed me after he yelled at me and I after I kept making him feel like an asshole. I don’t know. I think the day after we had that huge fight.

I don’t have anything to say to him right now.


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