Beginning the Break

And so last night I called him with a blocked number just to hear his voice and hang up. Unfortunately, he did not answer.

Then he was in dream, sitting beside my bed, telling me we were on a break, maybe it was better if I didn’t call. And we were there in my dream, me laying down, him sitting in a chair near my bed, and we were coming terms on why we were having this break.

Today I went to watch him in his basketball class, like I do every morning at around the same time. After seeing him for a few seconds, I left.

The day has been going pretty well. I’m a little tired.

I was on S’s Instagram a moment ago and I saw pictures of flowers. Then I started getting all paranoid, making myself all worried on the made-up-thought of him buying her flowers. Aside from the fact that he’s no longer talking to her because he finds her annoying, I keep making up that thee picture of the flowers relates back to him when in truth it does not and I am just paranoid. So I will stop right now with this paranoia. After ignoring her texts for two months and seeing her once with Z, he didn’t like her as a person anymore.

I suppose at the moment I am not very worried about Z because I guess her and her boyfriend are okay now. And I am still mad about A. And I don’t know if I really care about D too hard.

I kind of miss him right now and even though I know where I can find him, I’m not going to go and look. I’m doing fine right now without him. And although I would like us to be laughing in bed at the moment, I think I’m going to be fine by myself for now.


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