Showing Up 7/20

Of course, even after saying all that last night, I called him up this morning. And after the second call, he answered and when asked, said we could talk today and then he stopped and said let’s talk tomorrow instead. He told me he didn’t want to talk this morning because he had to go to basketball. And so I asked him to just talk to me this morning for ten minutes because we had to get to class and he said ‘no, tomorrow’. When I just asked about today, he promised me tomorrow at 8. Damn, I even called back for him to meet me and he told me tomorrow morning. Sitting there, this morning, I contemplated not showing up tomorrow morning.

He probably thinks, and I know he thinks this, that I am making a bigger deal about this then I should.

I called him up two hours later, wondering where he was because I didn’t run into him this morning. He told me he was on his way home after class and he asked me to call him after I got off. He told me to call him when I get off because I wanted to talk. I said we could just talk tomorrow morning instead.

To be honest, like I know we need space and all, but the more he accepts the space, the more annoyed I feel with him. Like honestly, I kinda just wanted to see him this morning just because. Just to reaffirm that we were okay and that this break was going to happen. I kind of wish he felt the same way about this, like you know, he actually wanted to see me in order to make sure that I was okay with everything too. I suppose he just assumes I’m okay with everything because I made up the plans. But right now, I’m just really annoyed with him.

Today I was talking to one of our friends about him. And while it seemed that this friend was hitting on me, he asked if me and my boyfriend were still talking. And I said we were together. and I said how long it’s been between us. And I said a year and nine months. And my friend asked if that included the break. And by the break he means the one my boyfriend and I had back in like April. I said yeah, counting the break, we talked during our break anyways.

So I am annoyed by the fact that my boyfriend isn’t jumping at the chance to see me. And I’m also really mad about how he seems to be acting like a jerk about this. I don’t think I’m going to show up tomorrow. He should’ve just showed up today because I asked.


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