Tonight’s going by alright. The day was full, so there was no real time to linger over him and feel too upset. Although there was a moment in the afternoon where I just felt mad about the possibility of him doing anything that didn’t have to do with work or school, liking hanging out with Z or S or just doing anything remotely fun during this breakup. And the thought of him made me feel a little sad for a few minutes.
And then, as the afternoon went on, I realized I didn’t even feel mad, I just missed him. I had to remind myself that I promised him, I promised myself too, that I would give him space. And it’s not going so bad. Look at me, I’m already finishing up Day 3.
Yeah, I’m not lying though when I say I miss him. Gosh, I want to go on adventures with him. I wonder if he’s sitting at home or maybe he’s out right now. Either way, I wonder if he’s thinking about me and wondering what I’m up to right now.
Maybe not though. Maybe he’s not thinking about me. That’s why he’s not saying anything. Or maybe he’s still mad at me and he’s trying to forget that he’s really mad. Or maybe he’s already moved on. Or maybe, just maybe, he’s wondering about me tonight. And he’s trying to tell himself to not say anything to me. And maybe right now he’s out to distract himself from the mistake of breaking up with me.
We tell ourselves what we tell ourselves to fall asleep at night. So maybe I’m right. Maybe he’s thinking about me too right now. I hope so.
Why do I have to be so in love with this boy?
And as stupid as it is, I love being in love with this boy. After all, he’s mine. And I love him like crazy.
I don’t need any other reasons. Love is love. That’s reason enough.