Right now I feel overwhelmed. On the verge of a mini breakdown, if there’s such thing.
The guy broke up with me because I kept arguing over made up things and old things. I even started getting mad at things he wasn’t even doing. And he was trying really hard. And I was still getting on him.
And I’m confused. I’m about to prepare myself to fight for a boy who called me an asshole in the library in front of people who knew us. A boy who broke up with me over Facebook, told me he was done with me, and that he didn’t want to fucking touch me. I’m about to fight for a boy who doesn’t even want to hear from me. A boy who is probably hanging out with girls, that are nonetheless his friends, but who I don’t like for justified reasons. And he’s probebly seeing them and having a great time with them. And while he’s out with them, he’s refusing to see me.
And here I am, planning on how I”m going to win him over with time.
Because for all the bad things, there are still great things, things worth fighting for.
I love so many things about him. And to be honest, I don’t really give him any justice for it, accept when we break up and I feel like winning him over. I love the adventure he brings. I love his excitement. I love his jokes, even the bad ones. I love his patience with me. I love his hugs. I love his curiosity.
And I’m upset because I’m so stupidly in love with him.
I feel a bit like a fool for unceasingly, desperately fighting for our relationship to work out. But fighting for what you love is never stupid. And I know that I love that boy. So I will fight for him, I’ll fight for us, every fucking time.
And now I’m just upset.