Day One, Step One

Yes, this again implies that my boyfriend and I have broken up again.

And he broke up with me over Facebook, like we haven’t broke up on there a million times. And we talk about it for two hours last night, me saying ‘no, stop’ and I’m saying mean things of why he can’t. And after a while, he tells me he just going to go to bed.

The only reason why I am not super mad is because last night’s fight was my fault.

And so I message him last night and this morning. And I can see from his phone bill that he can text his friend Z back at 7 in the morning, but he ignores me at 8. And I know she’s just a friend. But I am angry.

And I can see he changed his passwords this morning because now I can’t see anything. And I’m mad and upset and on edge. And I have a headache.

And I can’t tell if this time is real or not because we break up like once a month. And then we make up like a few days later. We do this all the time. And it gives me a headache. But fuck, I love that boy and right now I’m just sitting here going crazy, wondering what he’s doing.

Is he at home right now? Is it weird if I knock on his door? Is that romantic? Or is it strange? Do people do that anymore, knock on doors and say I love you?

Although, I suppose I wouldn’t know unless I actually knock on his door.

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