Stressed

Right now I’m tired and stressed and I have a lot on my plate right now. Yet, here I am, studying while waiting to see when this boy is going to come out of his final.

Yeah, I really shouldn’t be doing this. It’s like I’m stalking him or some shit. And this is definitely not the definition of giving him space; in fact, it’s the exact opposite.

So what’s wrong with me right now? Obviously, I don’t get the point: He doesn’t want to see me.

So what is wrong with me? Over our time, I have become extremely attached, which I now see is a horrible thing if the person you are attached to keeps getting mad at you and can’t spend lots of time with you because of that. Anyways, I get extremely overly attached to him during finals week. Because when I’m stressing, I like to talk to him to make me feel better. Like right now, I’m seriously stressing, venting on here.

And so usually we see each a lot during finals week. Like we spend a lot time together. And I feel like it helps me.

But right now he’s all mad at me. And doesn’t want to talk.

And I get that he wants to do good in his classes too and he’s stressed too. Maybe I’m being selfish then.

Yes, perhaps I’m being selfish.

Like its Niro messing me up that we’re not talking, I’m just feeling the stress more than usual. Because sometimes I feel that he takes he takes the stress off a bit.

And so I’m a little more stressed than usual because he’s not here. He usually eases me a little and takes my mind off things.

And so lately, without him, it’s been like study, study, study.

And it’s like on top of that, I’m having boy trouble. Which is completely laughable in the dark humor kind of way because it’s the least important. Because I love him and all, but school comes first.

Anyways, I keep trying to all him, but he won’t answer. Maybe he’s studying too. I don’t know.

So yeah, I’m tired and all that. And my boyfriend just like absent. And I have all this stuff to do. And its like daaaaaaaaamn.

Two more days until I see my boyfriend, two more days until summer. I think I just need to take a nap.

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