What I Need

And I said I would not talk to him until he apologized first.

But of course, I broke that. And I tried to wait around in the building I thought his final would be in. Yeah, I waited and I wasn’t able to run into him.

And yeah, I called. And he didn’t answer.

And I texted him and got no reply.

And I messaged him and he didn’t read it.

I did get back one response though. He is coming to graduation. Maybe that makes me feel hopeful, but what the hell am I doing? I shouldn’t feel like this. I shouldn’t.

I was looking at his Facebook and I noticed he friended this one girl. And I messaged him and asked if this was the girl I had met before. I already know that I shouldn’t be jealous because she’s basically no one in terms of our relationship, but nevertheless, I am jealous.

What the hell am I doing? I have hella shit to study. I’m busy too. I have things to do. Yet here I am, contemplating over a boy who doesn’t even care enough to be with me.

This isn’t what I want. This isn’t what I want. This isn’t what I need.

I don’t need to be crying at night because my so-called boyfriend doesn’t want to see me. I shouldn’t be sitting around waiting to run into that boy.

I need to grow up and love myself instead. Because deep down, I hate our relationship right now. I keep trying and he isn’t doing anything.

I’m in love with that boy and he keeps putting me to the side like I’m not important.

He doesn’t know about me. He doesn’t know about me. I’m not the type of girl you put on the side. I’m important too.

I’ve got stuff to do now. I’m gonna be great. And I’m gonna do amazing.

I don’t need him. I want him, but I don’t need him.

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