The Week in Review, So Far

Well, I’m upset right now.

I have a boyfriend that doesn’t want to talk to me all the time. And I mean most of the time. I feel like we never really spend any time together because he just doesn’t want to be with me.

What does that mean?

He can spend Monday with me. When I say he can spend Monday with me, I mean, he can spend 2 hours with me. And I mean, one hour at a time.

He cannot wait for me on Tuesday and barely talks to me because he’s working. He thinks I talk too much.

He feels annoyed to see me on Wednesday. He avoids seeing me and tells me he doesn’t want to hang out. But no, he’d love to do something on Thursday. By the end of the day, he doesn’t want to talk to me. He doesn’t want to see me Thursday because he is mad that I always want to talk to him so much, that I want to spend time with him.

He doesn’t want to see me on Thursday. He’s mad at me for calling him. And no, I can’t come over. Not because he’s leaving to buy the car at that moment, but because he doesn’t want to see me.

And relaying all this makes me upset. Like what the hell am I doing here? Forcing the issue on a boy that’s not jumping through hoops and going out of his way to see me. No, he just doesn’t give a fuck. He says we’re not going anywhere, that there will be other times, times for us to be together, but he’s taking all of it for granted.

So now, I don’t give a fuck. And I’m mad now too. And he’s not answering back to me at all. And who the fuck really knows what he’s doing? I don’t know. So now I don’t care.

And I don’t care if he comes to graduation. I don’t even know if he’ll come for sure. He’s so fucking fleeting. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care. I don’t care.

He won’t be hearing from me.

I can’t sit here waiting for him to not show up all the fucking time.

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