Other things that are bothering me, which are all made up things in which I have overthought.
5. When S came around town to see a concert. I only know this because I was looking at her instagram last night and I was comparing dates and looking at everything meticulously. No lie, I was looking for a problem. Seriously though, I shouldn’t really do that, I know. I just make up things to worry about.
Okay, this was around April 17th when him and I weren’t talking because I was mad. I hadn’t talked to him for days and when I finally did, I accused him of talking to them (meaning S and Z). And he got all mad at me and was all like ‘I don’t talk to him for days and that’s all I have to say?’. Yeah, I was still really mad at him. And so since he got mad, he told me to leave him alone, which I kinda get because I was just harassing him since I was mad. So yeah, I wonder if he saw his friend when I was pissed off at him. I mean, you never know, maybe not. Probably not.
Anyways, the week after that. I called him up and came over and we hugged it out and we made up that day. It was nice.
I think I’m overthinking this too much, trying to connect dots that aren’t even near each other. I don’t even know what’s worrying me. That perhaps maybe seeing her somehow leads to us being together. I don’t know. Like scary thought: He saw her, said he liked her, she didn’t like him, and so we made up instead. Okay, well I made that up. But still the possibility of that, no matter how small, scares me.
Forget it though. I made it up. There is no connection. She came to town to watch a concert. He probably had work. He was waiting at that moment in time for me to stop being mad at him. Then he got mad at me for harassing him when he wasn’t doing anything. And so we made up after I felt better about him.
I really should stop looking them other girls up. I start to make up problems that don’t exist. And I start connecting things that aren’t even connected. I should stop now. And I’m gonna throw this thought to the wind. I have bigger things to think about.
6. Him not really wanting to go to graduation because he thinks it’s a long time. Come on, I’m gonna talk at graduation and you’re hesitant about coming. Come on now. After telling him I’d be upset if he didn’t come, he said he would.
7. How he doesn’t want to spend time together next week because he needs to study.
Okay. True thing. We have two weeks left and he needs to study. Of course, I take it all personally because I like to be with him when I’m stressed about school. It calms me. And he doesn’t know when he’ll have time for us because he needs to study. And I know, he does need to study. And I shouldn’t take it to heart, thinking that he doesn’t want to be with me.
Yeah, in truth, I forgot that he works at night. So that time right after school is the time he should be studying. Yeah, while showering today I realized that. And I admitted that I forgot he works at night. I get why he needs to study during that time now.
And he doesn’t know when he’ll have time for us. I guess I shouldn’t really be tripping though. He’s trying to get his act together. And I can spend that time getting my act together, not that it isn’t already. But damn, I got a lot of shit to study too.
I guess I can’t actually complain about this though. In the end, he said we can be together tomorrow. So yeah, I apologize. I just needed to run my mouth.
So typing everything out has helped me yet again. Way to go blog!
And now since I have typed it all out, I don’t need to go off on him tomorrow about made up things. I mean, damn, him and I are really good now. Like really good.
And I love him a lot. And he loves me a lot. And we’re gonna be together for a really long time. I know that.