Two Months: Day 19

Sometimes you look at his name and it looks foreign to you. Not because his name is his name, just because you’re feeling like its lost some of its familiarness.

And it felt like you had lots of energy last night  and you wanted to talk to him about anything. I don’t know. Maybe you shouldn’t have just told him that when you emailed him at 12:37 in the morning, but you did.

And of course h didn’t say anything. He was probably sleeping or talking to on of them girl friends he has. And you hate that. At this point, you believe that when he’s not talking to you, he’s talking to them.

Now today you woke up feeling stressed about studying. And also a little lonely, realizing I don’t think he wants me. I don’t really think he loves me. He’s not doing anything to prove he does. He never even sincerely apologized. Damn, he doesn’t even talk to you.

So hey,why don’t you just go through these next two weeks without saying anything to him at all. It doesn’t matter anyways. He doesn’t miss you. He’s not wondering what you’re doing. He’s fucking ignoring you. And let me remind you, you’re the one who’s supposed to be mad.

Fuck him then. After all this time spent loving him, I really think you forgot how to be cold. So be cold, alright? I know that thought scares you, but you can’t run back every other day. No, you have to be strong and leave him the fuck alone. And that means moving on without saying anything. I mean, look, he’s not even trying to keep you, you just keep staying on your own with someone that doesn’t really want you to stay.

So move forward. Forget him. Really though. If he cares, he’ll do something about it. But who cares if he cares. Just do what’s best for you.

It’s time to get a little cold.

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