Letters you won’t be receiving, nine

Hey honey,

I have so many things tot say to you right now. You really think that’s all I have to say. No, there are so many things. I’ll start with I love you.

Next, yesterday you talked with E for a second. The word ‘drink’ was mentioned. I am curios, not jealous, I was just wondering what was said. I was going to ask E but you were still there. You and me, we’re still together. I hate when people (i.e. J) thinks we’re not. You know we are. I know we are. And yet, the thoughts of others thinking we aren’t bothers me. I know you don;t care what other people think, I don’t either. But still, it bothers me a bit. I see you have a haircut. I tried very hard not to look at you, so almost every time I looked your way, I wasn’t wearing glasses, so I wouldn’t have to give your eye contact. So when I was talking to E you and your back turned and I saw your haircut. Awwww, you cut it? I hope it’s still thick on top. I like the way it feels. I’ve been waiting for my acceptance letter. And inside I feel a little nervous. I’ve been considering going if i get accepted. But I wanted to talk to you about it first. I wrote you a postcard the other day that I didn’t send. Are we doing poem in your pocket day even though we’re on a break? Ha! And you think I’m ignoring you or something when all I really do is write you. I saw your email on Wednesday after school about the radio contest. I have so many questions. It was a little hard not to email you right back. What’s the prize? Who’s car were you in? Were you going to take me if you could? Is it for Justin Beiber tickets because I googled it the other day because I was very curious. Our caps and gowns I think we need to get those next week! Did you know last week I was pmsing? Did you know? I’m still mad though. And I’m upset still. I hate that you still talk to them. And I’m so fucking jealous. I’m so jealous. If you only love me, who cares about them? Really though. I hate them. I was so mad that you didn’t hold me Monday. Gosh, I want you to hold me and I want us to laugh in the shower. And I want us to end up together where we have bookshelves mixed with my books and your books. And gosh, I miss you. You know that? I have so many things to say to you. And the chances are, when we do actually talk,I”ll forget all of this because I don’t actually care what we talk about, I just love being with you. Fuck I miss you. I keep just sitting and studying and reading and thinking about you in between. You know that’s not all I had to say after four days of not talking to you. You know me better than that. Come on now.
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