Two Months: Night 6

No lie, after being angry, you went a little crazy with that madness.

Started googling the shit out of people, you know who. And you hate how that feels, after an hour, wasting your time, all that amounting to nothing.

What are you trying to find? Evidence for a proof that you don’t really want to prove to be true.

Sigh, you thought you were done being mad at him. But the fact that he’s going to stay another semester just brought back up all those feelings of anger. You want him to transfer with you, not stay with her for another semester. Okay, fine, maybe you’re being unreasonable and he actually does need to stay because he probably couldn’t do night classes, but still. You hate that.

Also, everything you found out two weeks ago. You’re feeling it out now. And you fucking hate that he lied to you. And your so mad about that.

And you kissed him today and that felt good and you guys hugged and that felt good, and you guys talked and that was good.

But he you hate that he needs to stay another semester and that she’s also staying. Ugggggh, that makes you so mad.

And you hate that he lied to you for over a fucking year. You hate it. You hate it. You hate it.

You hate all of them. You hate all of them. You hate him. You hate all the other three. You just hate. You hate, you hate, you hate.

You feel like hitting him and screaming and shaking him until you lose your voice.

You hate this.

And yet, you still want to continue loving him? What the hell?

How will this break solve anything? It won’t really.

Unless he cracks and says he won;t be friends with them at all.

Because you won;t say it to him now, but he’s going to have to make one sacrifice for you: transfer with you or just unfriend them all completely.

That’s it. He has to pick. There’s no way you’re really poignant to accept those friendships. He fucking lied about all that for a fucking year. And you’re so balled up inside with anger.

You hate him right now.

He has to pick. He has to pick.

I mean, fuck, you love him. But this is dumb. He has to choose you. If he doesn’t, then who the fuck cares, he lost.

Maybe you should accept.

Maybe you should leave him.

I don’t know, you change your mind every ten minutes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s