Two Months: Day 5

Well, you missed him and its Easter, so you texted him Happy Easter and called him once. In the end, he called you up, said Happy Easter…bye. Damn, though, it’s like he didn’t really want tot alk to you at all. OR maybe he just woke woke up. Whatever.

This two months feels sketchy as hell.

Uggggh, he’s such an asshole, but fuck, you miss him, writing him letters and subconsciously thinking about him and the future.

Wow, you love that boy. And fuck, you’re also mad at him. And as much as you could yell at him, you don’t want to push him away by yelling at him and running your mouth about how wrong he is.

I mean, you know he loves you and he cares, but fuck, he’s such an idiot.

And in reality, you know, you’re one push away from pushing completely out of it. And at this point, he’s just holding on because you asked him to. I mean, you didn’t force him against his will, but right now he’s feeling pretty bad about lying to you and after you said you still wanted to work this out, he’s not really entirely sure if he wants to go. I mean, you said you’d accept him. And well, you just said you’d accept a whole lot.

So, perhaps if you just leave him alone for a very long while. things will get better. Because then you’ll be less mad, he’ll think less negatively about how you’re always yelling at him and getting mad. Everyone wins a little something.

Maybe there won’t be trust issues if you tell each other everything and be completely honest about how you feel about everything instead of hiding things to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings.

Well, you already said you didn’t want to hear from him and he’s probably hella confused because you keep slightly talking to him and backing away once he doesn’t respond for the next few hours. (Yeah, you know, did he let his other friends wait hours for a response? Uhhh, no. So what the fuck?).

So let’s leave it that way. No talking to him at all. For an entire week. Starting, I guess, right now.

How did this week, without even starting, already feel long?

Just pretend that this is still goign to be two months.


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