Two Months: Day 4

Well, early this morning you emailed him, asking him who he was going with to today’s college tour. Since he didn’t answer even though he had offered if you had wanted to talk (what the fuck?), you started saying he was talking to other girls instead of you. By other girls, you meant his other friends, which you know are only his friends, but still, you hate that shit. So you said you hated him.

So you went to today’s tour, looking for him. And you started getting angry, not only because he wasn’t answering your texts, asking who he was going with, but you started you started to worry if he went one of those friends he lied about. And you hated the idea that maybe he went with Z because damn, this is your spot, so you just started texting him and calling him. And looking for him in all the familiar places, wondering if you’d see him. I mean, this was, this still is your spot, where you both started out.

You had thought maybe he wouldn’t say anything because yesterday you told him you didn’t want to hear from him for a ling while. Or maybe he wasn’t going to transfer with you, so he didn’t come to the tour today. Who knows? All you know is that he didn’t answer your messages like a motherfucking asshole.

You came home to find an email saying that he wasn’t talking to anyone last night.

You’re still so mad at him. You have no idea still how you’re going to get passed a year of him lying about friendships.

You have no idea how you’re going to forgive him, how you’re going to accept these friendships, if you even want to accept them. You don’t really want to though. You secretly hopes he caves first.

Now why in the hell isn’t he answering you back? Does he not care anymore? Is he just straight up ignoring you? Was he just sleeping last night when he didn’t answer you back? Was he working this morning when he didn’t say respond to your texts and phone calls? You hate this. Who in the hell offers you space to talk and doesn’t fucking say something when you do want to talk. Okay, fine, he was working yesterday. But not at 12:30 in the morning. And you don’t honestly think that he was sleeping. Why the fuck isn’t he answering? You hate this. You hate this. Maybe he’s working. But what if you were one of those friends? Would he answer them right away? You think yes. Add here you are, his girlfriend, and he’s not saying anything.

So fuck it, you’re still mad. You hate him right now. You don’t plan on saying anything to him, once he answers you, if he answers you. Give one week of nothing at all. Nothing at all.

He will crack first. Not you. You miss him. You love him. You want him there for all the moments. And you want him there everything that’s about to happen in the future.

But now, during this period in your life, you’ll wait it out. Secretly, you hope he hasn’t given up yet. You haven’t. You won’t. You love that boy. And you’re going to love him through everything.But for now, you’ll be mad. And slightly leaning towards crazy.

So fuck it, if he really loves you, he’ll cave first. Two months is too damn long.

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