Two Months: Day 3, Part 3

You realize that you don’t want him to be friends with them. He fucking lied to you for a damn. A whole damn year. So no, you don’t want him to be friends with them at all. So at this point, you’re kinda thinking you’ll just wait until he cracks. Or maybe you’ll crack first. But honestly, you don’t think you want to go back if he continues to be friends with them. You don’t want that. For him to be friends with people who are in your mind, the exact reason why you two broke up in the first place.

That fucking liar. That stupid motherfucking idiot.

To think, you’re feeling so tired of this, being mad at him, that you don’t even want to waste your time and breath yelling at him. I mean, fuck it, he’ll learn from your silence.

And now after talking to him today, you remember that he said he unblocked you if you wanted to talk. What the fuck? If you wanted to talk to him, you’d have said something. At the same time, he shouldn’t have ever blocked you in the first place. All those times,all those times you tried to talk to him and he just ignored you. Instead, he spent nights talking to his other fucking friends, the ones he fucking lied about.

So you checked your messages and you saw one from Wednesday saying that he loves you. But right now you’re still so mad. So fucking mad. You’ve never been so mad at him. To not want to talk to him at all.

So no you won’t accept those friendships. You especially hate them. You’re jealous and angry and hating and sad and hurt and distraught and shaken. You don’t want that. You don’t want that at all.

If he loves you, as much as he thinks he does, he’ll choose you. If he doesn’t, you remember, he lost. He lost. Not you. He did.

Today you realized this break isn’t for him. It’s for you. You don’t know about him anymore.

Because if he doesn’t know what he’s missing there’s no use sticking around, trying to convince him. So now, you just won’t speak to him. You know clearly at this point that he’s been missing you. And you know he’s sorry. But no, you’re waiting for something else. You’re waiting for him to crack. To say he can’t put up with waiting for you because he loves you too much to give you too much space. To say no, you’re the only girl he wants in his life. To say that. That’s what you want.

If he loves you, he gives them up on his own. He runs after you. he tells you he loves you more than anything, more than anyone else.

What more are you waiting for?


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