Two Months: Day 2, Part 4

Right now, well at least the past few hours, you hate him.

And you hate Z, and A, and especially S. But maybe that’s not completely true.

Because you never really hate. But you’re so fucking mad at him.

That Monday before he started feeling so bad, he said he didn’t want your forgiveness. But then you broke him down, and he started to feel bad. And you know how that goes….

You shouldn’t even be the one feeling so sorry though. He should be feeling sorry. You should just be feeling hurt.

You hope he feels sorry and you hope he feels regret and you hope he feels pain and you hope he feels sad.

You’ve never been so mad before. To hate him, to not talk to him for this long without some contact.

And the truth is, you don’t even want to talk to him right now. Because you can’t even think of what to say.

And another truth, you don’t think that boy even knows how to say no. To anything. Like he tries to say no. But he almost always ends up saying yes.

Earlier you worried about that line ‘why can’t you be the only one I love’. Woah, did that mean he loved someone else too and he was questioning himself? Uhmm, maybe you just read too deeply into that and what he said really just

But seriously though, you are the really one he loves. You’re the only one he loves.

So stop fucking worrying so much. This is how it’s going to go. This is how you hope it goes.

He will crack first. Say he’s sorry and that he loves you. You’ll miss him too much to care about anything else.

Like right now, you’re angry as fuck at him right now. But you miss him. But fuck it, he should be feeling horrible right now.


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