Day Seven: Crazy, Sad, Angry, Accepting: Two Months

He has changed his password, as you can tell. And that has made you mad. Is he hiding something? He probably thinks your crazy, going through his stuff. he probably just realized that what you did there was wrong. Even though he knows what he’s been doing is wrong too. You know he changed it because you were feeling untrusting. So you tried first thing when you got home.

So now he won’t answer your calls. He called you back once. But what is once to your fifteen times? Your three voice mails, saying ‘call me back’. Your texts. Your emails. It’s nothing. Once means nothing. It means ‘Oh, wait. Maybe I shouldn’t call’.

I mean you called on this break. And yesterday he agreed. And he shook you. And you kissed and you were okay. So you should be fine now. Right? You should be fine now. So stop worrying. Stop sitting here and thinking he’s doing something wrong.

(Around twenty minutes later….)

You talked to him on the phone.He wasn’t okay. He thought you couldn’t do two months. It wouldn’t change anything. He says you’ll never get over it. You’ll always be jealous.He asked if you could hear yourself? You being all upset, asking for him to be with you when he was the one who fucked up. You said you’d forgive. You said you’d accept. You’d accept those friendships, that was how much you loved him. You just needed this time to be mad. He wanted to call it all off.  You keep saying two months. He keeps saying no. He even hung up once and called back again. And after much saying ‘I love you’ and ‘I promise’ and ‘please’ on your part, he agrees on two months. He is still going to talk to them.  You say that if that’s what it takes to love him, you accept, you want to be introduced. He says you can’t be the only girl in his life,why can’t he have friends? There will be other girls, but ‘why can’t you be the only one he loves’ he says to you. So you accept.  You promise, two months, no talking. He finally promises you two months. You say ‘I love you’, he says ‘I love you too’.

Two months. Two months. Time solves everything.

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