Day Six, Part Two: Slowly steeping the anger

We remember what we want to remember.

It’s all dawning at you at once.

All that time. When he wasn’t talking to you, he was talking to them. And all you knew, he wasn’t talking to you because he was busy or he was doing something not important. When you called that time and he said he was busy, you heard music. And that day, he was with one of them. And now, in the back of your mind that fucking bothers you. Not just that. It ALL fucking bothers you. One year, over one year.

And at first he said he didn’t feel guilty. And when you said ‘what about me, what about us?’. He said ‘what about you, what about us?’. And you said ‘what?’ and you turned away. And he did something, pulled you in or held your hand or maybe he just held you. He did something. And then suddenly all that guilt washed over him.

I mean, you know he didn’t cheat on you. And you know he doesn’t have feelings for them. And he was honest with you, for the most part, about everything. Things he just said willingly. And he didn’t tell you because you’d be hurt. But if he didn’t want to hurt you, then why’d he do it at all? And he called you selfish? What the hell?

And all that time he said you were insecure and paranoid. You were right to be so. He was a fucking a liar.

So for now.You’re not going to talk to him. You’ve never been so mad, so disappointed in him.

And you want him still You still want him around. You love that boy. So you will take this break with stride. All your anger and hate and sadness and hurt will fade. And it’ll subside. And then you can go on loving him without that bitterness.

This is what a real break is. This is why couples take breaks. Now you understand.

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