Initial feelings: Panicked
Right now, she is not talking to him. She is waiting for him, rather patiently? Probably not, patiently since, you know, it’s only day one. But right now, she is a bit panicked. She fucked up on her FAFSA. Okay not fucked up, but damn, she needs to fix that thing. She cannot find her W-2. And he is rather ironically, as much stress as he causes her, her stress reliever. And she right now, she is panicked inside. Because she feels confused and unorganized and incompetent. And yeah, she feels scared. But no, she will not talk to that boy first. She does that too much.
She will have to get by herself. She can’t keep reaching for him when she doesn’t even think he wants to be there. Damn, if he wants to be there, he’ll show up. For now though, she will calm down by writing.